OFFBEAT NEWS:

Man Gets A $100-Million Water Bill

Opening bills is never fun, but for Kieran Healy, he at least got a good laugh thanks to the Orange Water and Sewer Authority. Healy’s bill was $188 but they added on a fee for $99.9-million.

The Pennsylvania man tweeted a picture of his bill to the water and sewer company asking if he could pay in installments. Healy later took to Twitter to update his followers: in case their was any concern, the OWASA confirmed he did not owe them over $100-million.

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Skunk Destroys Family’s Home With Its Spray

The Gray family is having a rough couple of months. Last fall, a skunk snuck into their Latrobe, Pennsylvania home through a doggy door and sprayed the entire place. They were forced to throw nearly everything they own out and start over.

“We’re down to nothing. Floors, ceilings, walls. Everything is gone,” Scott Gray explains. “This is equivalent of a fire burning your house down by not ruining everything, you have to physically pick it up and throw it away.”

The Grays moved to an apartment down the street while trying to rebuild and the worst part is insurance won’t cover a dime. Scott says he wouldn’t have been able to get through this pricey ordeal without the support of his friends, family and strangers on their GoFundMe page.

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7% of Americans Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

If you feel like this country is getting dumber . . . well this sure won’t change your mind.

According to a new survey, 7% of ADULTS in this country think chocolate milk comes from brown cows.  And another 48% say they’re not SURE where chocolate milk comes from.

Which means that less than half of the people in this country know that chocolate milk comes from adding chocolate to milk.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Thieves Steal a Bunch of GPS Tracking Devices . . . Which Easily Leads the Cops to Them

 Of ALL the things to steal, these guys accidentally took the ONE product that was literally designed to rat them out.

Two thieves broke into a tech company in Santa Clara, California last week.

They stole some beer out of the fridge, and then they took about $18,000 worth of little devices . . . and apparently they thought they were cell phone chargers.

But they weren’t.  They were GPS TRACKERS.

So when the company realized what was missing, they gave the police their tracking software . . . and the cops pinpointed the EXACT location of the thieves.

They were arrested a few hours later.

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Woman uses stolen city funds to pay for butt lift:

Natwaina Clark was a city employee in Gainesville, Florida who embezzled $93,000 while on the clock. While that’s newsworthy enough, the reason she’s really being talked about is what she chose to spend the money on. Clark bought a TV, used the cash for her groceries, and spent $8,500 of it for a Brazilian butt lift. That’s right, Clark used stolen funds to pay to have fat removed from one part of her body and injected into her behind. What’s more, this isn’t the first time she’s stolen money from her job. Clark was arrested for similar charges in Leon County. She’s now facing seven new felonies.

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Man found with meth in his underwear:

Some drug smugglers are creative. The trio traveling from Los Angeles to French Polynesia were just lazy. One of the men was found to be smuggling four-pounds of meth in his drawers. The woman in the crew was also found to be hiding meth in the lining of her underwear. The third man, along with the woman with the addictive underwear, had even more meth in their carry on luggage. All three were arrested.